I write this with great gratitude. As I have begun to find even more pieces of myself. This time I have found me in a place I would not have even thought to look.
I’ve been having moments of rediscovery and am thankful to have gracefully stumbled back into..fashion and styling.
Let me share with you how!...
very shortly after I first moved to the Bay Area, back in 2014, I had my first fashion photo shoot with @marcus.l.Jackson and not too long after that experience, we managed to consistently take photos every Sunday. I don’t think I ever told him or anyone but I always looked forward to having these shoots. Sometimes they were the highlight of my week. Why? Because My young 20 year old self could finally express herself in a new way for the first time. This process allowed me to find pieces of myself that had been tucked away and hidden for a long time, due to parental scrutiny. I was taught to second guess myself. During my adolescence, Any piece of clothing I bought was bound to be judged and ridiculed. Any fashion risks I tried to make in an effort to express myself were picked apart and as a result caused me to shut down and feel very insecure about my image and my body. Because of course you see, I couldn’t possibly be “dressing nice just for my own damn self “. I was told that if I put on a nice outfit, it was only for the attention of others. I’ve been told I look like a bumb, and a hoe, and at the age of 16, my 3in pumps were referred to as “come pump me shoes”..and that’s to name a few.
But! Finally being given the opportunity to express myself freely through what I wore and how I chose to adorn my own body, opened up a whole new world for me and helped me tremendously on my initial journey of self discovery, at such a young age. Clothes and fashion became a whole new language for me that I fell in love with learning. I further developed a passion for How things look when worn together and what each pairing of clothes says when made into an outfit. And the effects it has on your inner being. I was finally able to exercise the importance of wearing what resonates with my own soul. You now have the opportunity to shine all the way through.
For the first time I was able to show the world who Zoë Boston was without having to say a word, and in that I felt powerful.
Let’s Fast forward 4 years. After surviving and escaping a cult, additional narcissistic abuse, and spiritual and sexual abuse at the age of 24, I , again, understandably lost so many pieces of myself. I’ve done so much healing in these last few years and with the more healing I receive, the more I find pieces of myself along the way; the more I’m finding my way back to all the things that make me..me.
Fast forward to about another 2.5 years later, to the present, Marcus has given me the same opportunity and boy what a timely opportunity it has been so far. This process has stirred up pieces of me that I thought had died. I can feel my creativity flowing in some of the ways that it used to before pain and trauma, before abuse and neglect, before conditional love and mind games. Before all the cares of this world, There was me. Free and whole. And I’m thankful to God for this process for it has allowed me to take another significantly closer step back to myself.
Below are some of my favorite shots from our last shoot! Does my outfit speak to you? What does it say?
Also if you need any photography work done please book Marcus Jackson @marcus.l.Jackson. He is excellent in his work has blessed my existence on this earth quite tremendously.